Walking in the wide open spaces of God's grace

The Seven Week Milestone

Today marks seven weeks since Kieran and I got married. It might not seem like a particularly special anniversary to celebrate, but it’s a significant milestone because it is the longest amount of time I’ve ever been married. Cam and I had only 6 weeks and 6 days of marriage.

I shared with Kieran a few weeks ago that subconsciously I feared that our marriage would also ‘disappear’, because this is what past experience has taught me. It hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind, but it has been a lingering and strange feeling, to expect, and anticipate, without any valid reason, that Kieran wouldn’t be with me and I would suddenly be alone, no longer married again. It perplexes me that even though we are in the middle of completely different circumstances, with no illness staring us in the face every day, with no matter-of-weeks prognosis looming over us like dark clouds, with no conversations of death and funeral plans being had, that my mind has still played tricks on me so far as to ‘expect’ something similar to happen.

This phase after my wedding in 2011, I was shattered, lost in concealed tears, traumatised and alone. Today, seven weeks into my new marriage, I am so deeply thankful to have my health, to have a step-daughter and step-son to call my family, and to have a loving, funny, kind, empathetic, compassionate husband, who adores me and supports me and encourages me to be who God shapes me to be. Stepping into a step-family has not been easy. I have frequent days where fear makes me want to run away because I don’t feel like I am capable of being what this family needs. It’s hard to admit that this family is in fact exactly what I need and God knows it. As I slowly work through the fears and the false doubts of my capabilities, Kieran is right there with me, and I know that God is creating a new thing, and just as He promised that He would return to me what I have lost (see post from Jan 2014) He has and is continuing to restore what I have lost.

“…He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.” ~ Isaiah 61:3

So, to my husband, happy seven week anniversary, my love. We made it. Here’s to the next seven decades together.

3 responses

  1. Ann & Deles

    What a wonderful blog you have written Ashley, you are blessed, you had that special time with Cam, no one can take that away or change what happened in your life at that time, but you now have a new beginning in life with your husband and step children. Take one day at a time and see what GOD has for you…..and you may be surprised what your path will be….love to you all

    31 May 2015 at 2:16 pm

  2. conor

    Oh Ash I just love this post so much. You are made of gold my friend, and I wish you guys the longest and happiest future ahead. Big love. Huge love. Xx

    31 May 2015 at 7:38 pm

  3. Beautiful ! dear Ash – and so honest! ~ May you and Kieran and your two children be blessed with a long and happy, joyful and wonderful future together.

    1 June 2015 at 11:04 am

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